According to Hoyle

I'm not a big fan of required summer reading.  I have my reasons, but primary among them is this idea that books on required reading lists rarely allow room for personal exploration in literature.  I know the lists make concessions from the broccoli reading – you know, the classic and "good for you" books – but where's the fun in exploring genres and delving into the empty calorie beach reads if they're on a sanctioned list?

On the other hand, if someone asked me to suggest a single book for summer reading, one that could be casually perused and practically applied, I would go with a solid edition of Hoyle's Rules of Games.  With a copy of this book, a scrounged deck or two of playing cards, perhaps some dice, a reader could spend an entire summer filling in the odd gaps of time at camp, the down time between rain showers, and the shady respites from sweltering afternoon sun.  A commitment to learn one game a week would, by summer's end, yield nearly a dozen opportunities to gain lessons in strategy, gambling, skill, luck and plain old relief from boredom.

Android Karenina by Leo Tolstoy and Ben H. Winters

It's hard to imagine, but the literary mash-up rage only started a little over a year ago with Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (and before anyone chimes in, yes, I know that there have been plenty of other mash-ups previous to P&P&Z, but none with the same economic or pop culture effect). Perhaps it's a sign of a thin concept stretched too far, but within one year this burgeoning genre has begun to feel already played out and cliched. I have to admit that I was immediately fascinated by P&P&Z when it was first released, and my curiosity was piqued enough by Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter to purchase it upon release. But Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters? Pardon my yawn. When the best and most notable concept in a book is its cover, you know you're in trouble.

I suppose that's why I've been so surprised by Android Karenina, the latest mash-up from Quirk Books and author Ben H. Winters. I was hardly predisposed to like the book from the get-go, given my past teaching Tolstoy's classic and my own hardly enthusiastic attitude about yet another too clever by half literary mash-up. However, I was pleasantly surprised with the invention Winters employs to remix this classic novel.

Imagine a steampunk Russia in the late 19th century. That's Android Karenina. Fortunately, rather than set this novel in the future, Winters wisely chooses to keep it distinctly in the past, but a radically re-imagined past. All of the familiar characters from the original novel are present - Anna, Count Vronsky, Levin, Oblonsky - but now the world they inhabit is drastically changed. This is a Russia where the discovery of a new metal and energy source, groznium, has transformed every aspect of society. The most striking change is in the field of robotics. Robots are everywhere, divided (as suits Russia of the past) into distinct classes. Class 1 robots are menial, servile creatures beneath almost everyone's notice. Class 2s are a few steps above this, capable of slight speech but still mostly primitive and simple. Class 3s, however, are quite different. The wealthy and powerful all receive a Class 3 when they come of age as adults. These Class 3s are constant companions, trusted confidants and valiant protectors - something like the daemons in Philip Pullman's Dark Materials trilogy. They are an extension of the self. Anna's Class 3 is, for example, Android Karenina, a beautiful but strangely silent presence, while Levin's Class 3 is Socrates, a wise oddball of a robot.

This focus on robots, their classes and the Iron Laws (think Asimov's robotics laws) they are programmed to obey enhances and expands the original novel's themes of class distinctions, gender roles and identity. I am happy to say that Winters does not treat Android Karenina as a one note joke, as it easily could have become. Instead, it enriches the original while staying true to the characters. It reads as if it were created by someone with the utmost respect for the original material, and that is a good thing.

So who is this book for? All of the Quirk editions beg this question at one level or another. Is Android Karenina for the long-time devotee to the original? As someone who has read the original book several, several times, I can honestly say it was fun seeing what changes Winters brought to the mix - robotics in one moment, space travel in the next. Could this appeal to someone who has never read Anna Karenina? Probably, and it could possibly get some males to read it who would otherwise avoid it altogether. Before you think it, yes, I realize that reading this is not the same as reading the original, but it might be a good bridge into other classic Russian lit.

Either way, Android Karenina represents a genre-bending leap forward for the literary remix. Whether it's the pinnacle of a declining empire remains to be seen.

No treasure on this Island

I started reading Peter Benchley's 1979 novel The Island sitting in a waiting room, for lack of anything better to read. And the sucker hooked me.

For those who don't know, the late author was the son of Nathaniel Benchley and the grandson of Robert Benchley, both literary figures of high reknown. He was also the author of Jaws, the novel that was the Twilight of the early Seventies.

The Island was his second novel after Jaws (following the sunken-treasure tale The Deep) and centers on magazine writer Blair Maynard (a typical name for a Benchley hero; the main character of The Deep was named "Romer Treece," Beast's hero was "Whip Dalton," and so forth). Maynard and his twelve-year-old son, Justin, head into the Caribbean to investigate ship disappearances, but what should have been a father-son lark turns unbelievably grim. They run afoul of an isolated population of inbred descendants of 17th-century pirates who co-opt Justin into their ranks and plan a grisly end for Maynard when he's no longer useful. These are not the rollicking buccaneers of Errol Flynn and Jonny Depp, but disgusting, bloodthirsty killers with appalling levels of hygiene.

The first third of the novel is a crackling good mystery-adventure with a surprisingly realistic father/son relationship. It was this aspect that caught my eye and kept me reading. Maynard wants to be a good dad, and tries very hard to stay connected to Justin despite being divorced from the boy's diffident mother. He's conscious of his status as a role model, and even if he never quite lives up to it, he sincerely tries. And Justin is depicted as a normal kid, neither precocious nor infuriatingly dense. I had hopes that this might turn out to be a lost treasure (no pun intended) for Guys Lit Wire readers.

Unfortunately, once the Maynard lads are captured by the pirates, the novel's considerable momentum slows to a crawl. Justin vanishes from the story for long stretches, and we spend our time with Maynard senior and the pirate woman who wants him to impregnate her (yep, you read that right). And here's a tip to you would-be adventure writers out there: if you want to keep your readers on your hero's side, don't have the villains give him an enema. In graphic detail. Really. For any reason. If your plot demands it, then you should seriously re-evaluate it. Sometimes your fetishes should stay private.

Eventually Maynard realizes that Justin likes the bloodthirsty pirate life, and so the battle becomes one for the boy's soul. I won't give away the ending--hell, if you slog through the last third of the book, you deserve the suspense--but its impact is considerably lessened because we don't see Justin's gradual transformation from comic-reading 'tween to Blackbeard-in-waiting. I don't know what Benchley was after, exactly, but what promised to be a neat modern twist on Treasure Island becomes instead one more sad artifact on the trail of a writer trying to reclaim the buried treasure of his debut novel. And it remains a missed opportunity for teen pirate fans.

Why Dogs Eat Poop & Other Useless or Gross Information About the Animal Kingdom, by Francesca Gould and David Haviland

The title kind of says it all, right?

Want more? There's a blurb on the front cover that says: "Every disgusting fact about animals you ever wanted to know--from monkey-face lamb disease to exploding toads!"

Heck, exploding toads? I'm there. Even though it was published for the adult market, Why Dogs Eat Poop is EXACTLY the sort of book that my fifth-grade self would have loved. And my sixth-grade self. And, really, every version of me -- because ever since I received it in the mail, I've been wandering around, asking people things like:

• Do you know how squirrels use their tails to outsmart rattlesnakes?


• Did you know that snapping turtles have assisted in police investigations?


• Do you know what "penis fencing" is?

Gould & Haviland cover lots of ground, from super-smart animals to not-so-bright-but-ultra-strong animals, to the bizarre sex lives found in the animal world to some utterly disgusting facts about vomit. (I say utterly disgusting, but what was the first chapter I turned to? You got it.) Occasionally, the writing feels a little choppy and repetitive, but the subject matter carries it, and it's not a book that many people will sit down and read cover to cover. It's more of a book for waiting rooms or bathrooms or long car rides. Or, like I said, my fifth-grade self.

The Dark Days of Hamburger Halpin by Josh Berk

The Dark Days of Hamburger Halpin by Josh Berk
"Being a hefty, deaf newcomer almost makes Will Halpin the least popular guy at Coaler High. But when he befriends the only guy less popular than him, the dork-namic duo has the smarts and guts to figure out who knocked off the star quarterback. Will can’t hear what’s going on, but he’s a great observer. So, who did it? And why does that guy talk to his fingers? And will the beautiful girl ever notice him? (Okay, so Will’s interested in more than just murder . . .)

Those who prefer their heroes to be not-so-usual and with a side of wiseguy will gobble up this witty, geeks-rule debut."- summary from Amazon

I really enjoyed this book; it was original and had a unique perspective to it. It's not often I read books with male protagonists (that alone is original enough considering YA), but for him to also be deaf and on the large side? Almost unthinkable. I loved reading through Will's perspective with his being deaf because he would have to rely on clues to figure out what was going on rather than simply hearing his classmates make fun of him.

Relying on clues helped him and his friends figure out the murder that happened. Now, I had a bit of a problem with this. I felt like it took way too long for that part of the plot to kick in. I mean, when it's included in the summary, I expect it to begin like 50ish pages into the book, but this didn't start until well after page 100 and I wondered if there would be enough time for that part of the book to develop. I think what Berk did was good, but I think it could've used a bit more screen time.

OK, now I can't review this book and not mention the humor. This book was so funny. I laughed out loud many times while reading this, which definitely got major approval from me since I am a guy who loves to laugh and loves any book with humor. Will was a great character who seemed like such a great guy that you'd love to hang out with- he's hilarious, kind, and full of good intentions. I also enjoyed his friends Devon and Ebony; their interactions were fun to read.

Overall, this is a really good book and I did really enjoy it, despite the flaw mentioned above. Definitely go out and get a copy as soon as you can since the book is in stores now!

Starting Today: 100 Poems for Obama's First 100 Days

On the day of President Obama's inauguration, Elizabeth Alexander read her poem, "Praise Song for the Day". Alexander's poem is the poem posted on Day 1, and it can be seen as a celebration of the moment, with mention made of the historical nature of his presidency based on his race as well as mention made of the simple joy of the day. Rachel Zucker and Arielle Greenberg, the forces behind today's book, Starting Today: 100 Poems for Obama's First 100 Days, put out a call before the inauguration for 99 more poets, creating a blog with a new poem posted every day. The catch? Apart from Alexander's poem, most or all of the poems were written only a day or so before they were posted on the blog that housed them. (Sadly, the blog has since been pretty much wiped clean, although there are now a few poems - and their performances - posted there.

Within the remaining 99 poems, there are occasionally other poems celebrating the new President and his life. I am fond, for instance of the poem offered for Day 27, which was Valentine's Day. It's a poem by Diane Wald entitled "nonromantic obama valentine for america, february 14th, 2009", and it opens with a focus on Obama's smile:

let us just make a note of one thing before traveling too far on:
obama eats the camera.

in every single photograph where he is smiling
the presidential teeth
require a taming of light, a scrooching in of every aperture
so the picture is not too far bedazzled.

in honor of this i send all america this nonromantic obama valentine command:
thou shalt smile!

for our president
is smiling.

just a man.
openly smiling.

Read the rest of the poem here.

Below the Surface

If you've been following the Gulf oil spill you know that, ominous at as it is, the slick, spreading mass on the surface is only a fraction of the problem. Deep below the surface, a giant plume of oil billows through thousands of feet of seawater, representing far more oil and possibly a far greater environmental threat than anything happening on the surface.

It's pure coincidence that the Gulf oil disaster happens to come at the same time as a special re-release from Subterranean press of Neal Stephenson's largely unknown first novel, Zodiac: the Eco Thriller. But the parallels are undeniable. Both the real-life story and this novel involve large corporations guilty of atrocities deep underwater. The name of the novel refers not to any astrological symbols, but to the boat--a small, quick and maneuverable inflatable craft--that its protagonist, Sagamon Taylor uses in his work. Sagamon Taylor, or S.T., a.k.a. the Granola James Bond, a.k.a. Toxic Spiderman, is a detective of sorts, an environmental detective who spends his time collecting and analyzing water samples to pinpoint criminal corporations dumping chemical waste into bodies of water. He then organizes actions, such as blocking up companies drain pipes in order to bring political and media attention to them. His main territory is the Boston Harbor and there seems to be plenty of work for him there.

"Miracles Come By Here Regular": A Visit to Callahan's Bar

If you've made it past ten or more turns around the sun, you've probably figured out by now that a terrifying majority of your fellow travelers are far less removed from their animal forebears than they'd like to pretend.

In other words, way too many of them are horrible, scrabbling for anything they can get as long as the gettin's good. They're happy to pollute the planet, embrace a comforting ignorance, sell out their fellow human beings, and otherwise steal from the future to pay for the luxuries of the present.

And even the ones who aren't doing all that don't seem to be doing much about the ones who are.

When China Ruled the Seas

Forget Columbus or that Leif fellow. How about an explorer who was a eunuch? A Chinese eunuch commanding a regal fleet to cross the oceans. No, this isn't a Chinese food delivery joke.

While I adore fiction, some stories are true and weird. Such as: In the 15th century, China was one of the most advanced nations in the world and a naval power. Between 1405 and 1433, the Ming ruler sponsored seven expeditions. The emperor wanted to spread the influence of China, through controlling naval trade in the region. Zheng He, who, when he was eleven was captured and made into a eunuch (ouch, times were tough for prisoners back then), was a favored advisor to the Emperor, who appointed him as admiral of a huge fleet. Nowadays, if you lack balls, people razz you.

Ship Breaker by Paolo Bacigalupi

Nailer's world is bleak. He lives on the Gulf Coast, working on a light crew that salvages metal from wrecked ships. It's difficult, demanding work, pays barely enough for Nailer to survive, but provides the best life he can hope for. Until, in the aftermath of a deadly storm, Nailer and his crew boss, Pima, find a freshly wrecked clipper ship.

The clipper ship holds more wealth than Nailer and Pima have ever seen before: silverware, china, gold rings still stuck on the swollen fingers of a girl. The rings won't come off, and, believing the girl dead, Nailer is about to cut her fingers off when the girl blinks. She is still alive, and as she gains strength, she tells them that people will be searching for her.

The girl leaned forward, her face lit by the fire, her features suddenly cold. "If you hurt me, my father will come here and wipe you and yours off the face of the earth and feed your guts to the dogs." She sat back. "It's your choice: Get rich helping me, or die poor." (p. 113)

But can Nailer trust Lucky Girl, as the girl with the gold rings was quickly named? And is she worth the risk? The clipper wreckage is a once-in-a-lifetime chance, while forgoing the wreckage and helping Lucky Girl will not only mean facing the dangers of Lucky Girl's secrets, but the wrath of Nailer's alcohol- and drug-addicted father, as well.